pointe of worship: Car Talk

I am a huge fan of the NPR program "Car Talk". In the past, I have purposely taken the long route to my destination just so I could listen to the entire program. However, recently I discovered Car Talk on iTunes and now the shows are automatically downloaded to my iPod and ready to restart wherever I leave off. Technology is a beautiful thing!

Speaking of cars and new things, what I drive is arguably classified as neither. My 1994 Chevy S-10 has had nearly every part replaced, including the engine. But now things are beginning to break at record pace and, as she ages less and less gracefully, I am less inclined to fix that which I can simply put up with. This results in car repair people coming back out into the waiting room to ask me things like "how do I release your emergency brake?" or "where is the hood latch?" (the cables for both of these items have long since broke and require special operating knowledge). So, for those of you wondering why I'm too lazy to properly maintain my vehicle... let's create a list of items yet to be repaired and see if I have good reasoning as to why they remain in this condition:

Air Conditioning: This went out a couple years ago, but it's only painful for a short time during the summer months (albeit a bit more so during summer rainstorms when the windows have to be rolled up). So drive fast, keep the windows down and pray for an early fall... problem solved.

Power Steering: It's really only hard to turn when you are moving slowly, i.e. rounding slow and tight corners, moving in or out of parking spaces, backing up or dodging slow squirrels. So I just put my back (arms, legs, hips and toes) into it and take fulfillment in the knowledge that I'm getting a great workout every time I drive.

Driver Side Window Crank: This is "mostly" there... with the exception of the round spinning knob. I can still raise and lower the window, it just takes a bit more time. Nuisance? I like to think of it as a good finger dexterity exercise.

Spare Tire Hanger: Some time last year while driving in downtown New Haven CT, my wife and I heard and felt a tremendous bump. My wife mentioned she thought I lost a wheel. I somewhat sarcastically replied, "of course not, I'm still driving aren't I?" To which she emphatically stated "but I just saw a tire rolling across the street behind your truck!" She was right... my spare tire hanger cable had broken and the spare tire was making a desperate run for a better vehicle! Should I repair this? Of course not - that's why they made pickup truck beds... to haul tools, chairs, dogs, washing machines and spare tires!

Hood and Emergency Brake Releases: Again, they are still "there"... just a little further back. A small pair of pliers can still grab what's left of the hood release cable. The location of the emergency brake release is so far back, for those who don't know where it is... it's a theft deterrent device. Who needs a car alarm?

Horn Cover, Turn Signals and Wiper Controls: Two weeks ago my horn cover, which had already been somewhat loose, fell off as I was negotiating a left turn. Because it was still connected by a small wire, the cover wrapped over the turn signal arm as I turned and snapped the entire assembly right off. Now, I can still honk my horn... I just touch the end of the wire to the metal plate. I can still signal turns... I just hold the turn signal in the slot while I prepare to turn. However, I cannot operate my wipers... but hey, there's always Rain-X.

Key Operation for the Passenger Side Door Lock: If you have been paying attention thus far, you can guess how many people are willing to ride in my truck with me. Problem solved.