November 2nd, the date that everything has suddenly begun to revolve around. The date when our lives will change and our child is expected to arrive into this world. So many things to think about, so many things to anticipate, to worry over. My sister's comforting words of wisdom "you will be amazed at how dangerous the world is when your child is born" (thanks sis for those future sleepless nights of worry). We spent the last two weekends at Babies-R-Us trying to decipher the plethora of "future-junk" (that which will be discarded in 6-24mos) that we need to accumulate and reading Consumer Reports to determine which is the best and safest. We opened a new savings account, plan to meet with a financial counselor, began tracking down daycares, making plans to write a will, gave up caffeine (ugh!), began eating healthier, and on and on and on! Overwhelming is a vast understatement. Don't get me wrong, I cannot wait for our miracle to show its face. I am on my toes waiting to find out if it is a boy or girl. I cannot begin to imagine the emotions of that day in November. The words to describe what will happen and what we will feel do not exist. But, interestingly, our minds are so filled with preparation and anticipation at this moment... at times the process feels more academic, preparatory, rather than emotional. I suppose that is ok right now as we really do have to logically think through all that is necessary to ensure we have created a safe environment for our child. But does that mean we are going to be less loving or emotionally attached to our child? Absolutely not - don't forget, even Spock wrote great children's books! :) All these things are acts of love. If we did not care we would not act, we would not worry, we would not pray. This is similar to what my parents used to tell me; "we wouldn't be disciplining you if we didn't love you"... my parents loved me a lot. In fact, just this past weekend my parents discovered how much school I skipped in High School... some 22 years ago and I still felt that jittery nervousness and began trying to edge my way out of potential discipline! Excuse me, I meant to say "love".
To a very young Mitchel III or Erin Elaine: Even now I love you, though I have not yet met you. Even now I feel my heart race at the very thought of you, though I do not yet know what you look like. Even now I am awestruck by your daily accomplishments, though they are as simple as a heartbeat that quickens my own at its very sound. My prayers for your life are daily, they are sincere, and they are loving. Though my life is for God, it is in Him whose trust I place all that I have for yours. Whatever your life becomes, I pray it is His - for if you follow this path I know it will be filled with beauty, awe and wonder. Pain and sorrow does not cease to exist, but in their midst you have the ability to grow closer to God through the choices that you make. You will enter this world as a child of humans, may you grow into a child of God. For always in all ways, I love you. Dad.
Aww, what a sweet post - that last line about growing into a child of God literally just made me tear up! (i'm now wiping away mascara in my cube, haha) I'm so excited for the two of you and this awesome new adventure...y'all are going to be AMAZING parents!
Cant wait to meet my new little cuz!
Posted by: Jamie Waddy | June 01, 2009 at 04:36 PM
What an absolutely beautiful post. You write and express yourself so well, and wow! That baby boy or girl is going to have a great dad--thanks for your words and how they touched this dad of two older teenagers.
Posted by: Kevin Feisel | June 02, 2009 at 05:18 PM