pointe of worship

He Is Jealous For Me

How He Loves

"He is jealous for me..."  At first glance this is a pretty strange thing to say about God. The word "jealous" is usually associated with something bad, a form of weakness or an overbearing personality. But in this sense it is a calling... a commandment. Our God is calling upon us to focus on Him. Can you hear Him? He wants us to come to Him, to stand before Him and offer our selves. We are not here to simply enjoy our worldly lives, but to live life to the fullest by accepting everything God has offered... and to do that means giving up what we often think is important.

We spend our lives focused on that which we can purchase, sell, manipulate, create, touch, smell, taste or see. We think that one hour a week is our servitude for Christ, our penance, our required church time. But God wants more. Don't get me wrong - entry into heaven is easy, believe in Christ and accept His grace. So what is with this whole jealousy thing? We believe, we go to church... isn't that enough? No. It is about experiencing God, experiencing salvation NOW... peace on earth... joy to the world. God is jealous not because He wants more people to love and serve Him, but because He wants us to experience EVERYTHING He has to offer RIGHT NOW! Most of us, including myself, have never come close to God's full experience because we cannot shut this world off. We live in an age that is designed to satisfy every need, every impulse, every sensory organ every second of the day. For a gadget freak like myself, this is a tough thing to overcome.

What happens when one spouse is fully devoted and in love, and the other spouse spends 90% of their time on work, hobbies or other people? More often than not, divorce. Both spouses, the devoted and the departed, lose track of the other... they forget how to talk to each other, they become uncomfortable in each others presence. Now think about your relationship with Jesus Christ - were He to make Himself known to you in this moment just to have a conversation, would you be uncomfortable in His presence? On that same note, are you uncomfortable in church? Do you know how to enter into God's presence during worship, or are you wondering what the people around you think? This Sunday I challenge each of you to forget about your self, forget about what other people may think and WORSHIP GOD! Offer everything you have, it is what He commands. I promise, you will be rewarded far beyond anything you can comprehend. And these rewards are not someday... they are now.  

Still I Will Praise (a post for Erin)

Thursday, November 5th 2009, 2:07am, our child was born. But no cries are heard, no breaths are taken, her body is limp and unresponsive - the doctors begin working quickly with unnerving calm. Countless questions and concerned speculations are filling our minds regarding the short and long term health of this, our first child. After 9 months of planning, celebration, sacrifice, anticipation, prayer and hope... the moment we thought would bring tears of joy has suddenly collapsed our entire world with crushing weight and deafening silence. Several hours pass without much more than speculation and the simple information that "she's alive and being monitored." It is over 3 hours before we can see her in the NICU and her mother can touch her for the first time. Erin Elaine Henson had inhaled fluid during birth and had to be immediately intubated, resuscitated and put on a ventilator. In the days that followed we would find out that, while it does not happen a lot, this was not such an uncommon event during births. The greatest concern was the length of time she had been "depressed" by the event.

Our first sleep came briefly around 6:30am. When we awoke 2 hours later, I remember thinking how badly I wanted to go back to sleep. Not because I was tired, because I was unable to face the reality of what had happened. Would she survive? Would her complications threaten her long-term health and/or mental capacity? How would we handle it if she were impaired? We are not the first parents to face such questions, but until you are presented with these possibilities it is impossible to fully understand their weight on a parents heart.

As news began to spread via text messaging, twitter, facebook and email, soon there were people all over the country praying for Erin... including a friend of my sister on mission in China! A global outpouring was happening for my daughter, truly an awe-inspiring and humbling occurrence. As hundreds of prayers rang out in heaven for the health of this beautiful, small, helpless child under the watchful care of angels and doctors, my own prayers had begun with pleadings of holy intervention. Frequent and fervent cries of anguish, desperation and distress; "please help her, heal her, do not let my own failings affect Your mercy. Give her the strength to live and grow into a healthy adult, give her the chance to live a normal life." More than any other time in my life I was in dire want of everything God could offer. But over time I began to realize my prayers needed to mature into complete surrender. Then, finally, I was able to fully let go; "Lord, I am completely Yours. Amber is completely Yours. My daughter is completely Yours. You know my heart, you know our needs - I am only asking now for Your will to be done. If Erin dies, if she faces long term damage... still I will praise You. If Erin lives, if she is healthy... still I will praise You. No matter the path, our lives are Yours and I am thankful."

To be honest, reaching that point of submission took a long time. Although I knew it was where I needed to be, I was afraid... scared that if I told God He was in control He just might let her die because I said it was ok. Maybe He would decide to test the strength of my proclamation? But that's not how God operates. I needed to realize that if I am scared of His will, am I truly submitting to it? The purity of my trust in God can only be shown in moments like this, and I needed to rise above my undue sense of self to allow the full power of God's spirit to overtake the situation. Remember, God does not purposely cause pain to test us, but He can use it to bring us closer to Him.... if we let Him.

Sometime later that afternoon, the NICU doctor gave us the great news that Erin's recovery was so strong and quick that he was convinced the problem was short term and expected a full and speedy recovery. Now, two weeks later, she continues to show only signs of good health. Lord, I am forever thankful for Your gift. My own heart has been captured outside my self.

 

"Falling on my knees in worship,

giving all I am to seek Your face,

Lord all I am is Yours"

Your Hearts Desire

Think about this quote; "Your life is shaped by the end you live for. You are made in the image of what you desire" (Thomas Merton). So, what are you being made into? What is it that you desire most? What occupies most of your time, your energy and your thoughts? We all know the right answer, what should be... but few of us can honestly provide this answer. Why is that? If God allowed himself to be known in a physical sense, much like we can see and respond to the President, the Pope or even the Queen of England it would be much easier to purposely live for God each and every day. The population of Christians world-wide would be incredible! So why doesn't He reveal Himself in this manner? I suppose the answer might be similar to the answer of "why are we here?". Why not simply skip the earth with all it's pain, struggles and fears and birth us in heaven? While you think about that, consider this: would you rather have an arranged marriage, or discover the love of your life after discovering who you really are? Now go back and work on that first question...

My Girls

Christ-mas

I think Christmas should be celebrated year round. Not the presents and tinsel, but the remembrance of Christ's birth. For not since the moment of creation has something so profound happened! A Savior was born whose sole purpose is to guide us and to save us. Without this Savior our salvation is based on our ability to follow the law, but with Him we are graced by Love alone. The birth of Jesus Christ marks the beginning of a 33-year story that ripples reflections for eternity; the Word has become flesh, God appearing in a physically tangible form that brings sight to faith. Is once a year really enough? We celebrate our own birthdays once a year, but what have we accomplished in comparison to Jesus? Some might argue that we already take a month to celebrate Christmas, but this season is more about trees, presents, lights and family events than Jesus. In the time between Thanksgiving and New Years, how many Christ-only celebrations do you attend? How much extra time is devoted to prayers of thanks for His gift? On Christmas morning, do you reflect in prayer about His birth or do you reflect on the wrapping paper, food and football games? Truthfully, so do I. I LOVE the Christmas season, ALL of it, from the snow to the Charlie Brown specials! I encourage you, as I do, to enjoy everything about this season with all the trimmings. But remember that these seasonal extras do not satisfy the celebration we must have for the birth and life of our Savior... a celebration that should last the entire year.

The point of this is not to come down on traditional Christmas cheer (jingle away all ye reindeer), it's not saying you should go to church more often (chances are, you should), nor is it a way of telling you to thank God more often for sending us His son (we all must). My ploy us simply this: let's stop saving songs, stories and prayers of Christ's birth for the Christmas season. I'll concide a little, save them mostly for the season to keep it special... just don't be afraid to strike up a chorus of Joy to the World in June or lift your hearts with Silent Night in April, and sing Go Tell It On The Mountain whenever you can!

So this week, let all who are faithful, joyful and triumphant to come and behold Him, come and adore Him - Christ the Lord.

Just a Couple Weeks

Just a couple weeks until two lives change and one life begins,
until the old is renewed and the angels rejoice,
until the breath of life reaches the lips of a child.
The sun will meet new eyes and stars will brighten,
but the sparkle in her eyes will challenge their luminance.
God will kiss her head, Jesus will hold her hand,
the hearts of a Mother and Father will dance.
In our Savior's care we trust your life,
for not by our doing but Christ's alone are you eternally graced.
May He bless us with an abundance of time together on this earth,
that together we may shine an example of His love through our own.
Little Erin Elaine Henson - we cannot wait to meet you.

Desperation

I think about some of the things I am desperate for; to see my daughters eyes and hear her laugh, to build upon our retirement fund and feel secure in my families future, to graduate seminary before I am 50, to make just a little more money so that I can provide my family with nicer things, to see unbelievers and marginal Christians build a strong relationship with Christ, to own a home again, for our cat (Rufus) to live a full and healthy life amidst his diagnosis of chronic kidney failure, to nurture a great marriage of 5 years into 50+, and to drive a car with air-conditioning and operable power-steering. I feel these are all important, and there is a feeling of urgency that often prompts me to call upon God for divine assistance (maybe not so much with the car).

Take a moment and think of the things you are desperate for, if possible take out a pen and paper and write them down. Now take 5 minutes to watch this video, taking careful attention to what Zac, in the midst of his situation, is desperate for.

Letter to Zac from NewSpring Production on Vimeo.

Now, look at your list again... if you wrote it down, circle those things you are still desperate for and cross off those things that no longer seem quite as important. It is my hope that all of us, like Zac, can find the difference between desperation for God and our own wants and needs. Notice that Zac never said he was desperate for a cure... his desperation was focused on what he could do for others and how he could better his relationship with God. I am in awe.

Think about this: "Do I chase the blessings of God more than the presence? I don't want God to simply be a new vehicle for the things I want. I want God to be what I want" (Jon Acuff).  God must be so much more than a spiritual Santa Clause. All things in this life will pass away, but our relationship with Christ (or lack thereof) is eternal. 

misunderstood

nobody understands guitar players...

Real Worship

The following excerpt from Tim Steven's blog came from an interesting discussion on "what is worship." More specifically, the post was in response to an ongoing argument regarding secular music in church... but Tim makes a strong point about all forms of worship.

"Worship is a personal thing. You can't look at someone in a worship service who is singing praise songs and lifting their hands and know for sure that they are worshiping. It is a heart issue. They might be thinking about a recipe for lasagna.

You also can't look at someone who stays seated in a worship service (while everyone else is standing), arms folded, staring straight ahead, not participating...and know that they are not worshiping.

A few years back I was with a friend in Vienna and we walked into St. Stephen's Cathedral. His eyes instantly filled with tears as the majesty and history of the building brought him to a place of awe about the majesty of God. I stood there thinking about the architecture and construction process. For my friend, it was worship. For me, it was not.

For some, spending time in nature makes them aware of the awesomeness of their God. For others, standing at the base of a skyscraper in New York City does the same thing. For many, a church service filled with praise songs about God will usher them into the presence of God. For me, that rarely does it. But the excellence of a musician playing their instrument without words--it makes me so aware of the amazing splendor of our Creator God."

I couldn't agree more. Worship must be about what is happening between the individual and God, not about what is happening (or perceived to be happening) between two or more individuals. True, we can and should help each other in worship through encouragement and atmosphere... but when it comes down to it, are you communing with God or are you just communing with your friends?  

So what should church include and what should it not include? I suppose if I asked that question to 100 people I would get 100 variations of an answer - in part because we are all traditionalists in some way and look for what we know, what we have been taught, what society has shown us to be "true". But honestly, I don't think for a minute that I or anyone else do this thing called "worship" exactly right. We are all lacking; traditionalists, contemporary, post-modernists... we are all unworthy to stand before God. But like the little drummer boy and Mary, when we bring God an offering from the heart we can thank Him for His grace in accepting our worship regardless of the form or level of splendor. If our hearts are tuned to God and intent on bringing Him praise, what we have to bring is acceptable in His eyes. If our hearts are tuned to serving our 1-hour per week penance, then my guess is it's not so acceptable. 

I simply propose this: Church should include all things that bring glory to God and exclude all things that do not... as should your life.

Car Talk

I am a huge fan of the NPR program "Car Talk". In the past, I have purposely taken the long route to my destination just so I could listen to the entire program. However, recently I discovered Car Talk on iTunes and now the shows are automatically downloaded to my iPod and ready to restart wherever I leave off. Technology is a beautiful thing!

Speaking of cars and new things, what I drive is arguably classified as neither. My 1994 Chevy S-10 has had nearly every part replaced, including the engine. But now things are beginning to break at record pace and, as she ages less and less gracefully, I am less inclined to fix that which I can simply put up with. This results in car repair people coming back out into the waiting room to ask me things like "how do I release your emergency brake?" or "where is the hood latch?" (the cables for both of these items have long since broke and require special operating knowledge). So, for those of you wondering why I'm too lazy to properly maintain my vehicle... let's create a list of items yet to be repaired and see if I have good reasoning as to why they remain in this condition:

Air Conditioning: This went out a couple years ago, but it's only painful for a short time during the summer months (albeit a bit more so during summer rainstorms when the windows have to be rolled up). So drive fast, keep the windows down and pray for an early fall... problem solved. 

Power Steering: It's really only hard to turn when you are moving slowly, i.e. rounding slow and tight corners, moving in or out of parking spaces, backing up or dodging slow squirrels. So I just put my back (arms, legs, hips and toes) into it and take fulfillment in the knowledge that I'm getting a great workout every time I drive. 

Driver Side Window Crank: This is "mostly" there... with the exception of the round spinning knob. I can still raise and lower the window, it just takes a bit more time. Nuisance? I like to think of it as a good finger dexterity exercise.

 

Spare Tire Hanger: Some time last year while driving in downtown New Haven CT, my wife and I heard and felt a tremendous bump. My wife mentioned she thought I lost a wheel. I somewhat sarcastically replied, "of course not, I'm still driving aren't I?" To which she emphatically stated "but I just saw a tire rolling across the street behind your truck!" She was right... my spare tire hanger cable had broken and the spare tire was making a desperate run for a better vehicle! Should I repair this? Of course not - that's why they made pickup truck beds... to haul tools, chairs, dogs, washing machines and spare tires!  

Hood and Emergency Brake Releases:  Again, they are still "there"... just a little further back. A small pair of pliers can still grab what's left of the hood release cable.  The location of the emergency brake release is so far back, for those who don't know where it is... it's a theft deterrent device. Who needs a car alarm? 

Horn Cover, Turn Signals and Wiper Controls: Two weeks ago my horn cover, which had already been somewhat loose, fell off as I was negotiating a left turn. Because it was still connected by a small wire, the cover wrapped over the turn signal arm as I turned and snapped the entire assembly right off.  Now, I can still honk my horn... I just touch the end of the wire to the metal plate. I can still signal turns... I just hold the turn signal in the slot while I prepare to turn. However, I cannot operate my wipers... but hey, there's always Rain-X. 

 

Key Operation for the Passenger Side Door Lock: If you have been paying attention thus far, you can guess how many people are willing to ride in my truck with me. Problem solved.